failure

Our society fails those who suffer from mental illness - we all know this academically.
But when it's not academic - when it affects your heart - how do you deal with knowing someone is out there, someone you love, who is at horrific risk because of their illness?  When there is nothing more you can do to help, nothing you can say that will actually change the facts, nothing...nothing at all.
We have systems in place that work for some of the people, some of the time.  They are moderately effective at best, they offer the most basic safety net, and they aren't designed to be easily navigated by those who actually need them .  (They need strong advocates who can get them through the hoops to get their needs met.)
But, once those 'clients' age out of the support system and have to advocate for themselves, the systems fail. 
Many people who have mental illnesses are not easy to help.  Many have struggled to find their own way for so long that they don't trust anyone.  Many have been let down, either in reality or by their own misunderstanding of what's expected, and refuse whatever is offered.  Many have disorders that cause them to think erratically or irrationally and are unable to follow the steps necessary to get the help they need.  Many have anger issues (understandably) and react negatively to direction.  Many are volatile and, while they have learned the social skills necessary for common interactions, are not able to handle opposition to their stated desires.  Most people who suffer from mental illness are not developmentally delayed, of sub-'normal' intelligence, or incapable.  They do not need help across the street, a 'Disabled' sign for their vehicle, or a babysitter. 
All are people - people of value and beauty and ability and creativity, with the same needs as everyone else - respect, compassion, affection, home, family.
But, because of their illness, many are so very vulnerable to predators, con artists, and others seeking to use them for their own purposes.  Because of their illness, many have become ostracized from their families, and try to find other ways (and other people) to meet their needs.  Sometimes they have dreams that are not going to be realized but, predators being what they are, are led to believe and hope that they are on the path to fulfil those dreams while they are actually being used in ways that will destroy not only their dreams but possibly their lives.
I can't give more details, because this is not only my story but that of someone I love - whom I can't help.  But I can tell you that I am sick at heart.  I rail at the system that has failed this person, the inability of our society to support and protect our vulnerable ones, our society that has supported (by pretending it doesn't exist) the sex trade, the society of good ol' boys that nods and winks and then blames the victims, and the women who refuse to stand up and cry out in the name of freedom.  The churches who preach love and acceptance but judge and condemn, the legal system that preaches justice for all (but only if you're white, male, Protestant and reasonably wealthy - oh, and not gay), the social service system that has become an unwieldy Goliath, in place to support the employees instead of providing actual services...I'm mad at them all.
I'm furious with those who decided that closing mental hospitals was a good idea, because the communities would then rally and support their own inhabitants (yeah, how's that one working out?).  I'm mad at people who are too afraid of someone who's a bit 'different' to actually reach out and try to help them.  I'm mad at Democrats, Republicans, Libertarians, whoever the hell they might be - I don't care - because between them all they made this mess and nobody wants to take responsibility to clean it up.
And you know what?  Ultimately, it's not 'mad' - it's terrible grief.  There's a heart here that's weeping and knows there's no good resolution.


Not dancing tonight.


later.