Live while you're alive

Friend of mine made the comment to me today that her husband's recent (and severe) injury made her realize how much she had taken for granted.  We all do - it's human nature, I suppose, to just accept 'the way things are' as the norm.  And most of us are fortunate enough that our norm is reasonably pleasant, relatively painless and not too fraught with difficulties.  Oh, sure, each of us has our personal challenges, but life in general is a pretty decent experience.  If it's too uncomfortable, that inspires us to make the necessary changes to line it up with our expectations of how we 'should' be living.  

The trouble with the complacency that tends to arrive along with lack of excessive stress in our lives is that we can completely forget how to strive, how to reach for more.  
We are not inspired to attempt the impossible any more.  We no longer try to grow wings, reinvent ourselves, think about the ideals we used to have, or put ourselves in difficult situations just so we can grow.

Well....yes, it is very pleasant to be comfortable.  After years of hard work, if we've managed to reach a plateau on which to rest, it does feel good to just sit and stare at the scenery for a bit.  The problem is that the 'just sitting' can become habit, and we no longer have any interest in continuing to move forward.  In fact, if we don't pay attention, we can begin to devolve into cranky old farts who react to anything new by comparing it (negatively) to 'the way things used to be'.  I think laziness is a very natural human condition, and it takes an active decision to motivate ourselves to move forward.
The older we get, the easier it is to find excuses for not changing - the body doesn't cooperate, the brain's a bit sluggish, we're more tired, everything takes more effort than it used to, ad nauseum. On top of that, so much of what's considered 'new and exciting' is stuff we've already tried, done, excelled at or found wasn't effective anyway.  I've got a birthday just around the corner, which means that next year I'm going to be 60.  SIXTY.  Beginning my 7th decade.  Older than dirt (according to my son in law!). 

But what about all those unrealized dreams?  I know I won't ever skydive now, but I used to long to experience that.  (Now, with my back collapsing in on itself at the rate of knots, I know the landing would put me in a wheelchair.)  But last summer I did do something I've always wanted to try - I went up in an open-cockpit biplane, and experienced some aeronautical acrobatics.  Unfortunately, because I already have extremely low blood pressure, the g's knocked me out, but I HAVE lived through a full loop-the-loop!  And then was able to thrill to the flight down the Rogue River, face in the wind, no glass between me and the full view of the sights and sounds.  It was sheer heaven, and if I could afford it I'd be up every weekend.  

The 'bucket list' became such an overused term that it's already obsolete, but really we should care enough about what we really want to experience that we are willing to make the effort necessary to make it happen.  Sure, some things are totally impractical (I'm thinking space travel probably isn't going to happen for most of us) but perhaps there are adaptations we can make to our dreams?  It's difficult to justify selfish desires - I definitely have a hard time with that one - but then again, when I went up in that biplane last year, my kids all watched and learned that there's not much Mama won't try....and that's an excellent, practical lesson for them.  Especially since they have a Mama who is MUCH older than their friends' mothers...  I want my girls to grow up being courageous, adventurous, and willing to try.  And I want them to know that, no matter what their practical limitations might be, they never have to believe that they 'can't'.  

So, perhaps it's time to indulge in our fantasies for a bit.  Allow ourselves to spend time thinking about all those marvelous experiences we wanted to have.  Consider which are actually possible to achieve, and consider if they are worth the time, money and effort necessary.  Are WE worth the effort, to realize our dreams?

My counsel for years has been for people to follow their heart.  I've lived a while, and have done lots of practical things which ignored my desires and longing - and I've learned over the years that regrets will only come if we don't acknowledge our dreams.  And then I began to live my dream of having a large, inclusive family.  And while I'm doing it alone, (because my husband didn't  live long enough to follow his dreams), and I'm doing it as someone who is definitely past the prime of her life, and someone who has some physical issues which are limiting, and someone who definitely doesn't have the financial resources to do this at all - I've never been more filled with joy and peace and satisfaction and love.
So I speak from experience when I say "Live while you're alive"....


............................................................keep dancing!